"I had no life"

Said my sister. Sharing what she felt once the she had kids.

I couldn't understand her phrase. What I see is a tender loving mom cares and giving her child everything their needs.

I don't see "no life" in that.

That's what I thought. I was just teenager back then. What do I know about being a mom.

I took a lot of pictures with her baby boy. I always eager to hold her baby. I told her I wanna help her bath and put her baby boy to sleep.

Little did I know, now all that seems to haunts me when I started to become a mom.

Being a mother is not that beautiful pictures you've seen on johnson n johnson adverstisement, the lovely graceful mom holding her baby with so much laughs and smiles.

That yes. We do have "that" moment. But truth is, there is more than meet the eyes.

People who don't have kids wanting that moments when they will have kids.

Without realizing once having kids means it is battleship of your lifetime sacrifice.

You leave your favourite food.
You leave your favourite tv show.
You leave your favourite books.
You leave your me time and never get it back anymore.

Those guilty feelings when you have "more" time.

Those dilemmas when you want to rest but you also want them to be under your care.

Those feelings of "you are the only one who know what the kids need" that no one knows what exactly to do with the kids.

Sigh.. People arent easy to be satisfied.. Always want something else when they have some others. Never know what they got till its gone.. And hard to see the silver linings through the same routine everyday.

I found out that to escape from the same mundane everyday routine of a stay at home mom.. You have to refresh your mind and spirits everyday.

Or you will stuck feeling bored and unfulfilled because of no me time at least once per day.

Me time is that important.

A me time for a mother is not when she read her book and the kids and husband was calling out for her. It ends up making her feels like she was needed, she was on duty. Her mind is restless.

What a me time for a mother is reading books and sip a cup of her favourite hot drinks and smiling because she enjoy the book. Feeling calms and restful through all that time. That was what a succesfull me time is.

They are times we miss those hang outs with friends.

They are times we miss being alone watching our favourite movie and eating popcorn.

They are times we miss the day at the salon and spa.

They are times we miss the gorgoeus outfit or just a day we can mix and match the outfit, putting on a nicr make up, having a girls day out.

They are times we miss to to drive alone and turn on the music in the car, just enjoy the breeze.

They are times we miss our favourite hobby such as painting, drawing, sketching, singing, swimming, playing guitars.

They are times we miss to travel. Travel and discover the world. Travel and escape from the same routine everyday.

They are times we just want to relax on the beach.

A mom never deciced on being a mom, through her journey of motherhood she learns to embrace her sense of love for her children while discover that one day the child will grow up and sooner and later as unpredictable and twisted it is, she will miss the moment of no me time.