Beautiful Freedom

How beautiful is the women who cover her beauty..?

Yesterday I was the one who always worried. How is my hair, how does I look wearing that dress, that sleeveless top or the skinny jeans, was it too tight? Was it too longgar?

Or a bit too small, a bit too big for me? Is it still trendy? Are people still wearing that?

Should I put it like this or should I wear with it with a cardigan maybe just to make it look modestly a bit or it's too much.

Do I look okay in red or black, no maybe white will do or violet? Yellow? Burgundy? What's burgundy? Is that green?

Should I straightened my hair now, or get it curl and highlights a bit here and there.

Nope, that' too much, maybe a bit. Nope, I gotta cut it a bit it looks terrible. Will this impress that boy?

Will this impress my friends? Will this be okay with my parents? Will this make me known among the fashionista?

If I take picture with it, will I look okay, will I not be ashamed if I saw those pictures posted online?

And the worst part is.. No one can give me the right answer. Not myself, not anyone.

I don't have the answers to the nonstop questions. I was devastated.

That's the questions on my mind everyday when I look in the mirror.

That's yesterday.

Now, I look back in the mirror and I only think about one thing..

"Does this look okay with Allah swt?"
No? Change. Yes? Go.

That's it.

No one but Allah swt that I should impress.

I feel a sudden tremendous feelings of freedom.

A freedom that is unseen but it can only be felt. I'm no longer a slave.

 I'm no longer a slave for fashion, nor fashion give orders to me or trends keeps pushing me here and there. It was unspoken happiness.

For the first time in my life, I walk out with confidence. Confidence in my identity. Confidence in who I am. What I do. Why I'm here.

SubhanAllah.. Alhamdulillah.

Thank you Allah for bring me back to me.